Forgiveness Is A Gift You Give Yourself

Refusing to forgive is to prevent ourselves from fully living in the present because we are constantly thinking of the past.

Photo by Felix Koutchinski on Unsplash

The word forgive comes the Latin ‘’PERDONARE’’ derived from the word ‘’DONARE’’, which means ‘’to hold harmless from, to give everything’’, the prefix ‘’per’’ reinforcing the action.

A life of pardon means not to keep any resentment, putting aside vengeance, it is to forget, absolve, grant reprieve…….

Why And How Should We Forgive?

When Suzanne Somers said the above quote, she meant the anger, hatred, and resentment are poisons that inhabit the offended person and day after day gnaw away at him. Resentment towards a person, family or community always gives rise to thoughts of vengeance or even hatred. This state of affairs cannot be resolved without sincere and genuine forgiveness.

It is not easy to forget, and even harder to forgive. Today, many psychotherapists work with patients on this notion of forgiveness to help the individuals manage emotions such as anger, anxiety and depression.

In his book, ‘’The Gift Of Forgiveness’’, Olivier Clerc, explained that the negative emotion ends up leaving toxic deposits on the walls of our emotional system, thus preventing our hearts from loving unconditionally? Nobody can pass through the narrow door of forgiveness while still burdened with anger over past events, or carrying a load of various grievances.

The need to forgive may take a transpersonal and collective dimension in cases where ancestral conflicts between ethics or religious groups have led to wars, terrorism or genocide. A good example is Isreal and Palestine.

Gerd Althmann image from Pixabay

In the absence of forgiveness, suffering is perpetuated, and bitterness and hatred are transmitted from one generation to the other, without ever reaching the necessary liberation from this enchainment to evil.

The Road To Forgiveness

On the road to forgiveness, we should be able to translate aggression feeling into words and to achieve this, we need a sympathetic ear, a confidant or a friend, a trusted person who can demonstrate compassion. Expressing our emotions will help us identify our suffering and alleviate them. The process of forgiveness can then begin by freeing ourselves from our first faults.

The desire to return evil for evil heightens the injury and keeps us continually in the past. It becomes difficult to live in the present, and future prospects diminish and may even disappear.

Forgiveness Is To Relinquish Your Grievance — On Oneself & Others

Eckhart Tolle, in THE POWER OF NOW, says, ‘’forgiveness is to relinquish your grievance and so let go of grief. It happens naturally once you realise that your grievance serves no purpose except to strengthen a false sense of self. Forgiveness is to offer no resistance to life — to allow life to live through you. The alternatives are pain and suffering, a greatly restricted flow of life energy, and in many cases, physical diseases.’’

Relinquishing the grievances also on oneself is also important. We all once have done something wrong that we regret. Some of these cannot be undone, to which we have felt seriously hindered. We need to forgive ourselves and allow the flow of Grace to do the healing.

Can We Forgive The Unforgivable?

What is classed as unforgivable are incest, murder, rape and other atrocious crime. ‘’Forgiveness is there to forgive precisely what no excuse would know how to excuse’’, says philosopher, Vladimir Jankelevitch. ‘’It is made for such hopeless and incurable cases.’’

Who Are We To Condemn?

‘’Let anyone among you who is without sin, be the first to cast a stone at her’’ John 8:7, said Jesus to the Scribes and Pharisees who had brought to him a woman caught in adultery. Are we also without sin that we do not have to seek forgiveness of those around us because of our negligence, selfishness, and mistakes? Who can measure to his own score?

Trust In God

The knowledge of the incorruptible and just reciprocal action of the spiritual laws means if we are offended we should not feed any resentment, any desire to return evil with evil. Have we not been told, ‘’To me belong vengeance and recompense.’’ Romans 12: 17–19.

Recognising Our Faults

Forgiveness is closely linked to repentance, to redemption from our faults, to purification. The strongest utterance on this subject is the one made by Jesus on the cross, ‘’Father, forgive them for they know not what they do’’. It is one of the greatest prayers of intercession ever made that the father might give humanity another chance to pick themselves up and make a fresh start.

Can A Third Party Offer Forgiveness?

The person not immediately involved is quite naturally excluded from threads of reciprocal action and therefore cannot actively and effectively intervene because of this fact. He can only intercede by prayer in such cases, the effect of which, however, depends on the condition of the souls of those immediately concerned. He himself must remain on the outside and therefore cannot bring about forgiveness.

‘’To forgive is to set a prisoner free, and then discover that the prisoner was you.’’ Lewis B Smedes

This alone must rest in God’s Will, which reveals itself in the laws of just reciprocal actions, against which He Himself would never act because they were perfect from the beginning and are according to His Holy Will.

An avid reader. A lover of Nature as Nature is the language of God. Trust your intuition. It is always right. Email:

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